I have to say that my favorite days of the year are my kids' birthdays. It's always so wonderful to remember the details around each of their arrivals. How I felt when I was pregnant with each one. How we chose their names. What happened the day they were born. What they were like as new babies.
Sarah is especially precious to me for that reason. Each of my children have taught me (and continue to teach me) so much about my relationship with my Lord. Sarah taught me that God always does what's best for His children. We planned getting pregnant with Sarah. We had all the timing right. :-) I knew I was going to have another boy. You see, God and I had talked about that and I told him that I did not consider myself to be much of a role model for the female gender. I'm not girly girly, at all. I never did all the girly things that girls are supposed to do. So, I told God, I am not the right mother to have girls. I'll have all boys, thank you. And I stuck with that right up until the moment the ultrasound tech told me I was having a girl. What am I going to do with a girl, I asked out loud. She looked at me funny and said, "You'll do the same things you do with your son. And you'll get to dress her up and take her to dance classes." I nearly hyperventilated. I barely made it through the rest of the appointment before I bolted for the bathroom and broke down crying. The next several months, God set about reminding me that He is in control, I am not. And that He is good and He loves me and this is what He wanted for me. For months I refused to buy anything pink. My parents thoroughly enjoyed my discomfort and went about buying every frilly thing they could get their hands on. :-) Chris, of course, was quietly thrilled at the thought of a Daddy's girl.
Please don't misunderstand. I loved my daughter from the moment she was conceived. I just needed some time to adjust my thinking. See, I don't do change well. I think it comes from too much change growing up.
Anyway, from being Sarah's mommy, I've learned a lot things. I've learned to never say never: the child's closet looks like someone spilled a bottle of pink paint. I've learned to be a bit more girly - she says I look pretty in a spinny skirt like her and loves to do my hair. I've learned that we are all princesses if we are God's daughters, and we should be proud of that fact. I've learned to listen because my humble child rarely asks for those things that she really wants. I've learned to see joy and fun in everything around me: dancing in the rain, pretending that the crack in the sidewalk is a balance beam, flying like the birds we watched soar overhead. I've learned that you can wear a gown and fight a pirate at the same time (dress up dress and John, but still-watch out Jack Sparrow!) I've learned about being gracious - "This is my favorite present ever!" she says before she even unwraps it. I've learned that it's okay to speak your mind when you know what you want. "Mommy, I want Strawberry Shortcake to have long hair." And I've learned to not decorate Sarah's birthday cake while she's there to critique. "Mommy, I think I want her to have short hair now. And she doesn't have that much green in her shirt." But more than anything I've learned that I LOVE being Sarah's mommy. Hmmm. . . I guess God really does know what he's doing. :-)